MeeThinks 9.26.06: Going Old School [Part III.5 of IV]
Posted by John Meehan on 09.26.2006
Readers sound off on Hasbro's "New Generation."
most atrocious action figures!
Welcome back, all – and we're hitting the ground running this week with a continuation of our four-part journey through this fan's history of fandom. Though this week is a bit of a departure along the way back through the history books, it's a fun read and MeeThinks it's definitely worth your time just the same.
If you missed the column that kickstarted this quest, do kindly allow Mee to catch you up to speed:
A few weeks ago…
I stopped back up to the Meehan household in sunny (and *rural*) New Jersey. While visiting with some old friends and the family, my folks brought it to my attention that I'd still left a few Tupperware containers of my crap from when I was a kid upstairs in the family attic. Being a good son (or wanting to look like one, at least) I hauled one of the tubs back to DC and…
WHAM!
Like a wave of olfactory bliss, I was all at once overcome by that familiar-yet-pungent odor of decade-old rubber and plastic playthings of years gone by. Yes folks, I'd in fact stumbled upon the motherload… for there in a 28-gallon tub before Mee lied twenty years (and countless dollars) worth of professional wrestling action figures. Scads of them, too… dating WAAAAAY the hell back to the 12" days of molded rubber and spanning up and through the golden years of wrestling's mid-nineties action figure renaissance. From foot-tall Andres to six inch Beefcakes, from power-punching action through ringside catapults… I was sitting on a goldmine of memories, e-bay-bound knick-knacks and stinky rubber.
Five weeks ago, we probed the later part of my high school years and unearthed a dusty old 3 ½ inch floppy disk that revealed my passage from "mark" boy to "smart" young adult wrestling fan. Three weeks back, we tackled the action figures of the Attitude Era.
Was a staggering 20+ emails from the 411 community, folks. Each with thirty guesses apiece, making for more than 600 guesses in all!!! That's upwards of twelve pages of single-spaced text, ya' know. And so, rather than churn out a two web page column and shuttle all of the reader feedback to a rarely-clicked page two, Mee is putting You at the forefront of this week's article and dedicating an entire column to the results of last week's contest.
Again, no cash awards or prizes. But do kindly give yourselves a hearty pat on the back for anybody who nailed all thirty correct!
Deal?
Rock & roll.
Richard Davidson gets us started with three of life's imponderables:
After reading your third article on action figures...
1) Is the Undertaker sad because he's behind all of the other figures?
2) Did they get the first sculpt of Shawn Michaels from a Rosie ODonnell figure?
3) Is The Mountie allowed to touch the Big Boss Man where it looks like he's touching?
- Richard
Haha. Well done man. To your questions in order:
1) Nope, 'Taker is sad because there was no Paul Bearer Hasbro figure to accompany him down to ringside. And no Bearer meant no Urn... which was never a good sign!
2) To my knowledge, yes. Shawn's original figure was, in fact, a left-over sculpt from a Rosie "A League of Their Own" figure that, tragically, never saw the light of day.
3) Mountie and Bossman are tight like that, so no worries. It's a "what happens with nightsticks STAYS between officers of the law" sort of thing, I believe. MAN, do I wish I had that Nailz figure to *really* get that party started! (And yes, they *did* make a figure of Nailz! Orange jumpsuit and all!!!).
Jeff keeps things short and to the point, and leaves the guessing to his peers.
Nice article. The comment about the Rick Rude figure is perfect. That damn thing broke after about two hours. It never got to have to feud that I had planned with Big Boss Man, even though Boss Man had an huge gut. Love the column, keep doing good work.
- Jeff
You're so totally right, Jeff. I had The Ravishing One booked for a killer crossover feud against my brother's Jake Roberts... but damn if the man's arm didn't snap before the two could ever come to blows! Incidentally, Hasbro would later go on to re-use the Rick Rude body mold for another Ric-on-the-rise: the one and only Nature Boy, of course!
Semi-regular Manu Bumb had this to say:
you had a lot of toys. I thought I had a lot, but my collection is nothing compared to yours. I started back in the day with the LJN toys - < ahref=http://cgi.ebay.com/1986-WWE-hulk-hogan-LJN-CLASSIC-WRESTLING-FIGURE-jakks_W0QQitemZ130027516760QQihZ003QQcategoryZ1170QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem>Hogan and piper, along with the ring. Over time, I picked up...well, JYD. That was it for those. I also got 2 thumbwrestlers (volkoff and JYD), 2 bendy wrestlers (Mr Wonderful and Iron Shiek), and one Stretch 'Em (Steamboat). I know thats not many, but I sure did make the most of the 4 larger wrestlers, and the 4 smaller wrestlers.
Then I went on to the hasbro ones, and I've got a shitload of those. in a box somewhere.
Only toy ive got from the modern era is RVD, and thats because I got it when I bought the ECW dvd, and yes, I bought it from best buy BECAUSE i could get the free toy. a part of me is still a kid.
- Manu
Great letter, Manu. And you're totally right - there's always a part of the die-hard kid in every wrestling fan that simply can't be stifled no matter how hard we try!
As far as the thumbwrestlers go, I too had Volkoff and JYD, as well as Piper and Hogan. Don't feel bad if I might have had a few more than you, though - let's not forget that I had two younger brothers helping my collection along the way!
Tom opted not to guess, but still had plenty to share:
I just finished reading the Old School series. I've never owned any of the SF WCW Ripoffs or the later WCW vibrators the Hasbros, nor any of the Jakks, even though the oodles and oodles of paraphernalia that came with them would have been real cool with the greatest line of wrestling figures ever made. None could ever lace up the rubber boots on these guys. That's right I'm talking about the real old school, the LJNs. Even before the real scan Jakks the WWF/E came out with figures that looked like the wrestler they were supposed to be. And like the rest of the lines ever made (except the bendies) you couldn't do a sharpshooter or a figure-four, it was great to imagine it though. But what made them the best, except for Rick Rude who had his hands attached at the hips, was that they wouldn't break (you could cut off limbs and heads but you needed a sharp object for it). No snapping elbows or knees, no springs that would eventually break, and not a crappy looking as the WCW rip offs, just rubber. I had even figured a way to prevent the ring from breaking which was use packing tape and tape the entire surface up. I don't know if that was the final part of the Old School series was going to be but I just wanted to give a nod to the entire line of figures I grew up with and that I still own to this day, including every variant of Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant.
Thanks for reading
- Tom
Thanks for writing, Tom! And yes, the LJN classics were most definitely a HUGE part of my childhood as well. Man, we had a crapload of 'em too... ranging from Mean Gene Okerlund (molded in that killer "I dunno!" pose) all the way to the late-series Honkey Tonk Man (complete with plastic guitar)!
Not only were the LJNs practically indestructable (I'll admit - our Hulkster *did* eventually snap behind the left knee), but they also made for some GREAT younger-brother-whacking devices. Like legalized rubber mallets, I tellz ya! And if you've still got that Rick Rude (or any of the other late-in-the-line variants, for that matter) and you're willing to part with it - they'll currently net you upwards of $35 apiece if they're in good shape!
Ok, now onto the guesses! Can YOU name all thirty of the men in the photo below?!?
BMcLeod attempts to redeem himself after last week's 6 for 8 attempt, and comes up with 27 for 30 for his troubles:
Let's see if I can do this. 6 out of 8 wasn't bad last week, but I want to
do better. All right:
Ted DiBiase, Virgil
Doink, Berserker, Warrior, Ax, Jake Roberts, Repo Man, Boss Man, Anvil,
I.R.S.
Razor, Bret, Mountie, Smash, Duggan
Shawn Michaels, ???, Can't see the face Bret'shand is in the way,
Randy Savage, Marty Jannetty, Luke and Butch,
Undertaker, Giant Gonzales, Cant' see, Hogan
Tatanka, Brutus Beefcake, Papa Shango
Well, 2 I can't see, and 1 I don't know. 27 out of 30 aint' bad.
- BMcLeod
Nice work, dude. 27 for 30 makes you 90% this week, up from 6 for 8 (or 75%) from two weeks back! The Beatles were right - it's getting better all the time.
Coming in at 28 for 30 figures correct, Ray Currie
Back Row(6):Papa Shango, Brutus "Barber" Beefcake, Tatanka, Hulk Hogan, Rocker Shawn Michaels, Giant Gonzales
Next Row Up(9):Shawn Michaels (HBK version), Rick "Model" Martel, Skinner (it is hard to make out at first as the face is very well hidden but after thinking about the roster from that era, those beady eyes remind me of Skinner), Bret "Hitman" Hart, Macho Man Randy Savage, Rocker Marty Janetty, Bushwhackers, Undertaker
Next Row Up After That(6):Razor Ramon, Berzerker, Demolition Ax, Mountie, Demolition Smash, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan
Remainder At The Front(9):Doink, Ted Dibiase, Ultimate Warrior, Virgil, Jake "Snake" Roberts, Repo Man, Big Bossman, New Foundation Jim "Anvil" Neidhart, I.R.S.
- Ray "Rock 'n Roll Warrior" Currie
Nice work, Ray... but no Skinner in the mix, and a negatory on that back row Shawn Michaels as well. I hid 'em to make it a bit trickier...
Mark Satrang was likewise tripped up on those "hidden" figures.
Meehan--
Another good article this week. I love your nostalgia trip this week especially as these are many of the same figures sitting in my collection in my Dad's attic right now.
Your guessing game this week should be easy except on strategically hidden figure.
Here goes:
Million $ Man, Ultimate Warrior, Virgil, Jake the Snake, Repo Man, Bossman, The Anvil, IRS
Doink, Berzerker, Ax, Mountie, Smash, Hacksaw Duggan
HBK, Razor Ramon, The Model, Bret Hart, Bushwackers Butch and Luke
Papa Shango, ??? (I'm thinking Skinner though), Macho Man, Marty Jannetty, Undertaker
The Barber, Tatanka, Hogan, Shawn Michaels, Giant Gonzalez
Keep up the good stuf...
Mark Satrang
Thanks for the letter, Mark. Missed on Skinner and on the double Shawn guesses, however. If I'm not mistaken, I *do* believe the skinner figure came with a molded-on plastic hat (non-removable). And though I had a spare HBK in backup, I opted not to double-up any figures for the photo. Solid and well reasoned guesses though!
At 28.5 correct, we've got Chris Regal, the pride of Catholic University:
seriously dude, this has been the best series of columns ive read in a LONG time. god knows my figure collection was also massive and I get a rush out of seeing some of these old timers. remember the days when they would put the ads for the new hasbro figures in the wwf magazine, with "coming 10/93" on top of the AWESOME sets featuring, say, the berzerker, virgil, doink, the green million dollar man, and crush?! oh man, i miss those days. i really love the attitude era and my nostalgia days of the wrestling world, when wcw was alive and kicking and duke "the dumpster" droese didnt seem that abnormal in a wrestling ring. speaking of which, being the wrestling information specialist that you are, do you know of any compilation of austin matches? like, a double dvd set of mostly attitude era stuff, mainly the promos, the wars with mcmahon, dude love, mankind, taker,....more or less 1998... but really everything. any ideas?
also, any way you could open a column exclusively for memories? not match reviews or rehashes, just memories. figures, hasbro figures, favourite raw moments, earliest memories of the monday night war, your tape collection (please tell me you were one of those guys that used to tape raw, nitro, thunder, smackdown, ecw on tnn, and sometimes even saturday night and worldwide every week like i was?), etc? man, i miss the glory days of wrestling.
alright thumbs up lets do this....
from back left....
papa shango, brutus beefcake, tatanka, hulk, michaels (or is that narcisist lex luger?), giant gonzalez, taker, jannetty, macho man, skinner? (you cant really see that much of him), rich martel, michaels again, razor, bret, the mountie, luke, butch, hacksaw, smash, jim the anvil neidhart, ax, repo man, berzerker, doink, million dollar man, ultimate warrior, virgil, jake roberts, bossman, IRS.
oh, and you may appreciate this, i am currently discussing the column with a female friend (who obviously doesnt appreciate it) and asked what kind of a person you were, seeing as...
katertot789: well he takes pictures of wrestling barbies and analyzes them
i almost cried. especially since i was very adament in my denial that THEYRE NOT F-IN BARBIES THEYRE ACTION FIGURES!!!! which is more sad: that i was a hardcore collector or that, at age 21, im still defending them? you know, guys like us, we lead pathetic lives. we really do. (feel free to send her hate mail, thats what she gets for attacking the lost art of action figure collecting)
best of luck man, and remember, theyre not barbies. we're manly men. and were raised as manly men. and manly men dont play with barbies. or dolls. theyre action figures that beat people up. while wearing speedos. shit.
- chris regal
"Barbies." Sheesh. Chicks just don't understand, man. Wrestling is a MAN's sport, I tell ya. And there's nothing feminine or gay about it!
Besides - we ALL know that Matt Striker's action figure (and Renee Dupree's, for that matter) are packing WAY more junk in their plastic tightie whities than Barbie's asexual pal Ken could ever DREAM of!
I kid, I kid...
But damn, we gotta do somethin' about Striker's pink trunks, gurlfriend.
Seriously, though - nice work with the guesses, and thanks for the kind words.
Now then - Austin compilations, eh? I'd say that WWE's VHS "cause Stone Cold Said So" is probably the best of what's out there. I dunno if they made a DVD of the collection (*yet*) - but I know for a fact that that one was top notch, and it was just loaded with stuff from his early days (including the ECW Steve-a-mania skits). But you're right - there's MORE than enough Austin stuff to fill up two solid disks (or more). Just talking in terms of matches - he's got a match or two on the history of the WWE Title DVD, another match or two on the McMahon DVD (not his best, but...), another snippet or two of a match (or is it two?) on the "best of" WrestleMania featurette (included in the bonus materials of WM20), and PLENTY of airtime on the forthcoming Pillman DVD (from what I understand). Promos/angles and the like abound on the Monday Night War DVD, and I'm pretty sure WWE is just biding their time before opening the vault to the rest of that goldmine (especially the later stuff with Kurt Angle).
So yeah, good stuff - and thanks again man!
Kerry Cooper nails all thirty, alright... but loses a point for seeing double and hallucinating a Hercules Hernandez!
1. IRS
2. Jim "The Anvil" Niedhart"
3. Hawksaw Jim Duggan
4 and 5. Bushwackers.
6. Undetaker
7. Giant Gonzales
8. Big Bossman
9. The Repoman
10 \ 11. The Demolition
12. The Mountie
13. "Rockers" Marty Jannety
14. A bent over Lex Luger
15 Macho Man Randy Savage
16 Jake The Snake Roberts
17. Virgil
18. Body Slam Hulk Hogan
19. Tatanka
20 Brutus The Barber Beefcake
21 Papa Shango
22 Rick Martel
23 Roddy Piper
24 HBK style Shawn Michaels
25 Razor Ramon
26 Doink The Clown
27 Million Dollar Man
28 Hercules
29 Bret The Hitman Hart
30 Virgil
31. The Ultimate Warrior
I actually counted 31. Maybe there is an extra half of someone you missed like Doink or ole Ted..
- Kerry Cooper
Thanks for writing, Kerry. And nope - just 30! No Hercules to be found, sadly... though that'd be a KICK ASS action figure, if I do say so myself!
Howard Otley nails all 30, but leaves a lingering question to boot:
Million dollar man Ted Dibiase, Virgil, Big Bossman, IRS Doink The Clown, Ultimate Warrior, Jake "the Snake" Roberts, repo man, Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart, Berzerker, Demolition Ax, The Mountie, Demolition Smash, Razor Ramone, Bret Hart, "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, Shawn Michaels, Rick "The Model" Martel, Randy Savage. Marty Janetty, Luke Bushwhaker, Butch Bushwhacker, Papa Shango,, (let me get back to you on this one), undertaker, Brutus The barber Beefcake, Tatanka, Hulk Hogan, Shawn Michaels, Lex Luger (I can tell from the silver arm band), Giant Gonzales.
Now the last one, Bret hart has his bastard hand in the way of his face! But from memory i think thats Roddy Piper. he had that action and the hair seems to match. How did you turn his t-shirt yellow though.
i think you underestimate people. other than Luger and Piper being obstructed, I thought it was fairly easy.
nice article, really enjoyed it. I was always a fan of Andre the giant's head but action (mine broke too, odd isn't it.)
-Howard Otley
Thanks for writing, Howard. Believe it or not, Piper's shirt just *naturally* turned yellow, and I have absolutely no idea as to WHY. Kinda like old VHS movie cases all tend to turn that same pale shade of dusty blue after a year or two in a sunny room. Go figure, eh?
Oh yeah, and my Andre's demise should probably be listed alongside of other wrestler action figure deaths that I forgot the first time around. Here's to YOU, Akeem the African Dream; YOU, Ultimate Warrior 1.o (with spring jumping action!), and YOU Macho Man 1.o (same body mold as Rick Martel). Rest in pieces, gents.
Keith Tan also bats a thousand, on a longshot last-second guess to boot!
hey,
I'm gonna try 'guess' the figures
million dollars man
doink
Warrior
virgil
jake roberts
repo man
big boss man
jim neidhart
I.R.S.
Berzeker
Ax
The Mountie
Smash
jim Duggan
Luke
Butch
Marty Jannetty
Macho Man
Bret HArt
Rick MArtel
Razor Ramon
HBK
Papa Shango
Beefcake
Tatanka
Hogan
Luger
Giant Gonzalex
Undertaker
then there's the one in between martel and tatanka.. is that piper???
Cheers,
- Keith
Piper indeed, Keith. Thanks again for writing dude - and nice work.
ScottyHBK is another member of the perfect score club:
Hey im going up to down from left to right...papa shango, shawn michaels, doink, ted dibiase, brutus beefcake, rick martel, razor ramon, the bezerker, ultimate warrior, Tatanka, roddy piper, bret hart, Hulk Hogan, Macho man, ax, virgil, Lex Luger, marty jannetty, the mountie, repo man, jake the snake, Giant Gonzalez, The Undertaker, butch, luke, hacksaw jim duggan, smash, jim the anvil, big boss man, irs
- scottyhbk
Brilliantly done, dude. Good work on those two "hidden" figures as well!
Daniel Moore from Andover, England gets the job done too.
in no particular order-
virgil,bret hart, the berzerker, the mountie, the bushwackers, irs, the
million dollar man, razor ramon, hbk, papa shango, rick martel, the
undertaker, giant gonzales, repo man, big bossman, tatanka, doink, jake
roberts, jim 'the anvil' neidhart, axe and smash - demolition, randy savage,
The Narcissist lex luger, marty jannetty, ultimate warrior, hulk hogan,
brutus beefcake, rowdy roddy pipper and hacksaw jim duggan.
all correct and present-
- daniel moore
from andover, england
five stars, Daniel. Nice work man.
Rusty Nailz goes 30 for 30:
Umm...
Ted DiBiase, Virgil, Big Bossman, Doink, U. Warrior, Jake the Snake, IRS, Anvil Neidhart, Repo Man, Ax, Berserker, Razor Ramon, Bret Hart, The Mountie, Smash, Hacksaw Duggan, Luke, Butch, M. Jannetty, Macho Man, Roddy Piper, Rick Martel, HBK, Papa Shango, Brutus Beefcake, Tatanka, Hogan, Flexy Lexy, Giant Gonzales, 'Taker
Shit, I had most of 'em and a few more. My roster was strong son!
- Rusty Nailz
Thanks Rusty. And nicely done.
S Price likewise went a perfect 30 for 30:
The 30 are:-
1. I.R.S
2. Ted Dibiase
3. Big Boss Man
4. Repo Man
5. Virgil
6. Jake Roberts
7. Ultimate Warrior
8. Jim Neidhart
9. Demolition Smash
10. Jim Duggan
11. Bushwacker Luke
12. Bushwacker Butch
13. Undertaker
14. Giant Gonzales
15. Narcissist Lex Luger
16. Marty Jannety
17. The Mountie
18. Demolition Ax
19. Bret Hart
20. Berzerker
21. Razor Ramon
22. Shawn Michaels
23. Rick Martel
24. Papa Shango
25. Rowdy Roddy Piper
26. Brutus Beefcake
27. Tatanka
28. Hulk Hogan
29. Doink the Clown
30. Randy Savage
- S Price
Perfectly done, dude. And bonus points for keeping things so neatly numbered!
Bryan Fotheringham saves the tough ones for last, but gets 'em all right for his efforts!
Hi John
Long time reader, first time emailer. I just wanted to say that I really
have enjoyed the series, and thought I would give the 30 Figure challenge a
go.
1. Papa Shango
2. Brutus the Barber Beefcake
3. Tatanka
4. Hulk Hogan
5. Giant Gonzalez
6. Undertaker
7. Luke of Bushwackers
8. Butch of Bushwackers
9. Macho Man Randy Savage
10. The Model Rick Martel
11. Shawn Michaels
12. Doink
13. Razor Ramon
14. Million Dollar Man Ted Dibase
15. Ultimate Warrior
16. Marty Jannetty
17. Berserker
18. Bret Hitman Hart
19. Ax of Demolition
20. Smash of Demolition
21. Virgil
22. Jake the Snake Roberts
23. The Mountie
24. The Repo Man
25. The Big Boss Man
26. Irwin R Shyster
27. Jim the Anvil Neihart
28. Hacksaw Jim Duggan
29. Lex Luger
30. Rowdy Roddy Piper
Have a good day
- Bryan
Top notch, Bryan. Saving Roddy and Lex till the end was a shrewd move - and I applaud your "list the full name" style. Five stars dude, five stars!
And With That, I'm Outta' Here
Thanks again for reading, all. And even though it might seem like I keep copping out with all of these reader mail columns along the way, I really appreciate y'all's feedback as we trudge through the toys and memories of yesteryear, and I definitely think that all of this nostalgia trippin' is doing wonders for more than a few readers overall attitude toward the current state of wrestling today.
Till' next week —take it easy, keep those eyes securely glued to your television screens (go Pats go! Bengals might prove tough… but we've got Maroney, bitches!) – and always stay positive!
